Fall

Fall = Baby Squirrels who want to play with Ender.

A Dog Paradox in Pictures

This is just one panel from the Oatmeal, and I highly recommend going over and reading the full comic because it is HIGH-larious.

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/dog_paradox

Life Lessons

One very important life lesson I had to learn early on was - always carry 3 poo bags.

When we first got Ender, I started off only carrying 2 poo bags with me. We didn't have one of those poo bag carriers because that would've just been another thing to knock my teeth out when Ender was busy losing his shit, so I would just stuff two poo bags in my pocket. One morning, Ender poo'd twice before we reached the halfway point on our walk.

And then, he poo'd a third time.

Luckily I had a bag of pupperoni treats with me so I had to empty the bag out and use that to scoop up as much poo as I could.

So now I always make sure I have at least three poo bags and though we no longer feed our dogs pupperoni, they will always have my gratitude for helping me out on a jam.

The Utility Vest

The answer to my fashion dilemma:

FOUR POCKETS!!!

1. Poo Bags/Treats
2. Keys
3. Phone
4. Card/Cash

Booya!

You Don't Get No Exotic Meats

We were on a tenuous pet food schedule for a while but that house of cards came tumbling down a few months of ago. The pet store where we get their dog food has to special order it since they don't regularly carry it. However, we like scheduling their food order to be replenished juuuuust when they finish their other bag.

This is a gamble as many factors are in play.

First is the uniform scooping. Remember in home economics, the teacher taught you how to level flour? Well, really I should be applying it to scooping dog food. However, in my sleepy stupor, it really is a miracle I actually remember the correct number of scoops I'm supposed to scoop. Additionally, the bf has to put up with me screech "OMG, those scoops are too full!!!!" in the mornings when the food is low. Second, the dog food must be delivered on time to the pet store.

A few months ago, the pet store didn't receive the dog food shipment. In the midst of me losing it and ranting, whhyyyyy are our dogs so annoying with their special hard to find food????, the bf did the leg work and found another location which actually carried our food.

And last week, I realized...THE VENISON COSTS $5 MORE THAN THE LAMB!

My mind was blown.

My Near Stink Experience

I have been MIA in the blogging universe but fear not I am slowly but surely taking my life back from the death grips of work.

Any, here's a funny story to break my way back into the blogosphere.

Speaking of death grips, I was innocently cuddling on the couch with Ender yesterday when he switched positions and I was hit with a punch in the face stinky butt smell. A smell so fierce that I had to at that moment kick him off the couch, throw the fleece blanket into the hamper, and febreeze the couch, and then move the party into the bedroom.

Being the stubborn person that I am, I once again revisited the omnipresent "HOW DOES ONE EMPTY A DOG'S ANAL SACS/GLANDS?" question. Tip to self, watching youtube videos of dogs getting their anal sacs make for good entertainment until it leads you down a dark path of bug abcsess videos.

The next morning, I determinedly threw Ender's ass in the shower and tried my best to empty his sacs. It took some massaging, but it finally emptied. Oh and did I mentioned that it came out as a projectile squirt that missed my head by inches, splattering onto the shower wall?

All this before breakfast. As Fergie would say, yeah G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S.