The Utility Vest

The answer to my fashion dilemma:

FOUR POCKETS!!!

1. Poo Bags/Treats
2. Keys
3. Phone
4. Card/Cash

Booya!

You Don't Get No Exotic Meats

We were on a tenuous pet food schedule for a while but that house of cards came tumbling down a few months of ago. The pet store where we get their dog food has to special order it since they don't regularly carry it. However, we like scheduling their food order to be replenished juuuuust when they finish their other bag.

This is a gamble as many factors are in play.

First is the uniform scooping. Remember in home economics, the teacher taught you how to level flour? Well, really I should be applying it to scooping dog food. However, in my sleepy stupor, it really is a miracle I actually remember the correct number of scoops I'm supposed to scoop. Additionally, the bf has to put up with me screech "OMG, those scoops are too full!!!!" in the mornings when the food is low. Second, the dog food must be delivered on time to the pet store.

A few months ago, the pet store didn't receive the dog food shipment. In the midst of me losing it and ranting, whhyyyyy are our dogs so annoying with their special hard to find food????, the bf did the leg work and found another location which actually carried our food.

And last week, I realized...THE VENISON COSTS $5 MORE THAN THE LAMB!

My mind was blown.

My Near Stink Experience

I have been MIA in the blogging universe but fear not I am slowly but surely taking my life back from the death grips of work.

Any, here's a funny story to break my way back into the blogosphere.

Speaking of death grips, I was innocently cuddling on the couch with Ender yesterday when he switched positions and I was hit with a punch in the face stinky butt smell. A smell so fierce that I had to at that moment kick him off the couch, throw the fleece blanket into the hamper, and febreeze the couch, and then move the party into the bedroom.

Being the stubborn person that I am, I once again revisited the omnipresent "HOW DOES ONE EMPTY A DOG'S ANAL SACS/GLANDS?" question. Tip to self, watching youtube videos of dogs getting their anal sacs make for good entertainment until it leads you down a dark path of bug abcsess videos.

The next morning, I determinedly threw Ender's ass in the shower and tried my best to empty his sacs. It took some massaging, but it finally emptied. Oh and did I mentioned that it came out as a projectile squirt that missed my head by inches, splattering onto the shower wall?

All this before breakfast. As Fergie would say, yeah G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S.

Courtesy of the Oatmeal

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/my_dog

Top 5 Dog Breeds For Landing a Hot Date

This  Top Five Breeds for Dating  has been kicked around the internet for the past few days and I've just gotten around to skimming it. Though it reads a bit like it was written by someone in high school attempting their first statistics paper, it does present some fabulous and not to mention hilarious conceptions about dog owners. Here are the relevant pit bull sections:


What people think about Men & Dogs:
- People were twice as likely to see a man who owns a Boxer, a Bulldog or Rottweiler as just a “hook up” than a man who owns a Pit Bull or Labrador Retriever. 
- People are 10 times more likely to see a man who owns a Pit Bull or a Rottweiler as “slimy” or “sketchy” than a man who owns a Siberian Husky.


So I guess guys with pit bulls are either settle down material or super slimy and sketchy?


What people think about Women & Dogs:
Hmm...apparently the idea of women and pit bulls is a foreign concept.

The Wonderful Flaws of Insane Shelter Dogs

I stumbled upon this article on gawker and it completely reminds me of Ender. I often think, if I could write a description for him based on what I know now, what would it be? Would I go for honesty? Or would I go for a more glossy approach? Here's a description taken from the article:

 

 Maggie—American Pit Bull Terrier "We have struggled finding her a good home, through no fault of her own. She is good with other dogs as long as they are not getting rough with her...She is crazy about squirrels and pigeons and will try to catch one. She doesnt like cats, people on skateboards and little kids on bikes. She gets aggressive with anyone holding a waterhose and wants to bite the hose." Just keep the dogs and squirrels and pigeons and cats and people and children and hoses away from her, and there won't be a problem.

PSA