Game recognize Game

This is how he draws you in. Don't let the face fool you, all he wants is to get you close enough so he can jump at your face and lick it.

Randomly, this guy on the street asked me if he bites. He asked me this AFTER he tried to pet him.

Renters Ya'll!

There is a lot of work involved in selling property. Or with selling property at a price you would like it to sell for. The conversation with the realtor basically went "put on market before holidays/move out/paint the unit/update kitchen/stage/open houses/take offers."

We had two weeks to find a new place to live and move everything out. I am fairly surprised that P and I are still together after this ordeal.

We've never had the joy of apartment hunting with dogs before since we brought both Ender and Barksdale home when we had our condo. But between the two of us, we've rented plenty of places before the condo. So really, how hard can this be? Well, KINDA HARD.

After filtering for dogs on Craigslist, we were left with a very short list of possibilities. We also started contacting every major rental company in our area and was hit with weight and breed restrictions. So clearly there two two hurdles that we were going to encounter - the first being pet friendly PERIOD and the second being friendly to large pitties.

Luckily we wanted to stay in Oakland so the first hurdle wasn't insurmountable. The second hurdle however, took some strategizing, aka…soooo, what else can the dogs pass as? Ender is ambiguous looking enough where he could potentially be retriever/great dane mix. Barksdale miiiiiigghhhtt be a weimaraner. (Right? Right?) So with our stories straight, we started visiting leasing offices.

If anyone has read any major rental building's pet policies, they are HILARIOUS. And long. What? You mean I can't keep my pet skunk in my two bedroom? Hmm…I might need to rethink this building then.

Anyway, after reading through the pet policies, we concluded that our plan really was no plan at all. Apparently, great danes and weimaraners are often ALSO BANNED. And the rental companies ask for paperwork from the vet. (Hmm..maybe my photoshop skills might come in handy? OR in the future, during the first vet visit do not EVER say your dog is a pit bull mix.)

We ended up renting our place from a guy who was using the unit as a "work from home but not really at home" office. This dude, we have concluded, is the ideal property owner for renters with pitties - someone with enough discretionary income that they literally do not give a shit.

No Joke Yo!

Life events in recent months have highlighted that having two pittie dogs is no joke yo. Supporting anecdotes provided below:

1. We sold the condo. Cue to convo between me and P with me blubbering "but this is the first home our babies have ever knoooooowwwnn!!! They will be soooo sad, sooooo sad." In reality, the dogs were stoked because they got to stay at their Aunty A's house over moving weekend.

2. We moved into a rental. A STUDIO. The four of us are sharing one giant room. We are all still alive.  Nobody has tried to off anyone in their sleep yet. Our adventure in finding this rental will have its own post. Because the story is THAT interesting? No, because I just need to whine for approximately three paragraphs.

3. I got a new job. Do other people factor their dogs into the potential job search? Obviously my dream job would allow me to work from home all day so I can spend the entire day with them, but since I couldn't swing that, I was aiming for a job that had more stable hours. Also, I'm not that good at leaving work at work, so I was looking for something where the bullshit could be left at work.

4. We are looking for a house. When I look at backyards, I think...oh no, that's not going to work for Ender. He's going to crawl into the crevice and just be covered in dirt. Yeah, I know. Who's THAT crazy dog lady?

Unemployment Bitches!

This is what unemployment looks like. I seriously need to win the lottery so I can continue this lifestyle that the dogs and I have become accustomed to this week. Unfortunately my new job starts soon and I will have to say goodbye to afternoon playtime. Sad Face.

Perfecting Her Stalker Look

We took a mini vacation this weekend so the dogs got to spend the weekend with their favorite person in the word - the dogwalker.

During the afternoon, we got an email from her with the subject line:

Took a quick nap, woke up to this...

Good thing the dogwalker is not faint of heart, amiright?

What just happened here?

Apparently life did for the past 6 months.

But I'm back!

And there's lot of stuff to catch up on folks. Like serious grown up stuff, not just pee and poo stories.

Happy Mama's Day!

When I was little, my mother made me go to the Doctors any time it seemed like I was getting sick. No matter how minor it was, I always had to go see the Doctor. It used to annoy the heck out of me.

Now I bring Ender to the vet and ask her if his brown spots are spreading and if it's a sign that something's wrong with him. (WTF right?)

So to my mama and all the mama's out there, I understand and appreciate the lengths mamas go through to make sure their babies are okay.

Dr. Google

A few days ago I was peering in Barksdale's ears when I noticed a black waxy substance in them. I cleaned them out, but my paranoia got the best of me so of course I took to google. Nothing good ever comes from the google. Worse case scenario, it could be ear mites. Best case scenario, it could just be ear wax build up. After some more days of googling, I just bit the bullet and made a vet appointment.

We went to her vet this morning where they tried to look into her ears. The vet said that she saw something but couldn't be sure. But Barksdale was shaking her head too much for the vet to do any extractions. So what was supposed to be a quick vet appointment turned into a $300 DOLLAR vet appointment.

YES, $300 DOLLARS!!??!?!?!? Pet ownership has come back to punch us in the wallet. She had to undergo sedation so the vet could check deep into her ears. She thought it was a foxtail or something but it just turns out to be HAIR AND EAR WAX BUILD UP. Yes, we paid that much to for some ear wax buildout. When we picked her up from the vet, she was so excited to see us, she tried to jump over the receptionist table. I thought, man, for $300, couldn't we have gotten a dog back that was a little more sedate?

The world is our toilet

We live in a condo and we don't have a backyard. So yes we are those assholes that let our dogs poo/pee in front of your house. We can generally keep the peeing to our street, but Ender really needs to get things loosened up before he can go number two. Naturally, I’ve been “told” a few times to keep it moving while Ender has been in mid-poo. And yes, some of those times they were entitled to say something since we were on someone’s front yard and therefore on private property. So I’ve really been trying to have the dogs poo on the street since it is so-called public property. But then in the end we can’t win either way because then we get yelled at for being on somebody else’s street and then get told that we need to have the dogs poo in front of our own house. Those times, I fight to urge the say “Hey, I pay taxes and just like I have a right to park my car in this spot, my dog has a right to poo here!”

Anyway, call out to my fellow city dwellers – where is the most optimal place to let your dog poo?

Chicago

We just got back from a weekend trip to Chi-town (do locals ever use that phrase? or is it one of those things like "frisco" where, unless you were born and bred here, you aren't allow to say?) and all I have to say is mad props to all those doggie owners who live in places with actual seasons.

We couldn't even handle standing on the street to decide whether to turn right or left, I can't even imagine having to wait for Ender to poo in that weather. And it was April. APRIL. I don't even want to think about December.

As it was such a short trip, I didn't have a chance to miss the dogs until we got back into town. It's a vicious pattern. I am elated when we drop them off at the dog sitter, but pretty much by the third day, I'm missing their big old heads. And then two days into getting them back, I wonder why I ever missed them at all.

Admiration and Annoyance

Why is it that the characteristics I most admire about my dogs the ones that annoy me the most?

Ender thinks everyone wants to be his friend so he has no problem getting up on everyone's grill. And he does not comprehend the fact that when a little dog is trying to bite him in the face, they don't want to be his friend. He is completely undeterred by other dogs barking in his face. He will still try to play with them with a dopey look on his face and his tongue hanging out of his mouth. Sometimes I joke that the reason he's so crazy is because he is just bursting with too much love. And that's pretty admirable, to derive such joy from everyday living. However, this love of life at times turns him into the biggest pain in the ass to walk sometimes. Walking an 80 pound dog while he tries to play bow and jump at the poodle across the street is not fun.

Barksdale has been called "strong-willed" by the dogwalker. Other apt terms may be stubborn and pushy. She, unlike Ender, will not put up with any type of shit. She is the one willing to throw down with any dog barking at her and she will not hesitate to tell you what's up. I imagine if she were a human, she would be the first one to speak up and say "I don't give a fuck what you think about me" or "that's just not right". If she was a superhero, this trait would come in handy. Unfortunately, it's not so cute when your dog wants to bully some other sweet sweet dog into submission.

I've been feeling super sappy lately, hence these emo posts. But hopefully I get them out of my system soon and we'll get back to the more informative posts like product reviews.

On Guilt

I have often wondered if by us adopting Ender, we have kept him from finding an even better home. I see photos of him on his doggy adventures and I know that he belongs on a giant farm, to have the run of the land, to come and go as he pleases. I sometimes think to myself if we ever found a perfect home that wanted him, if we could give him up. The practical side of me thinks that I would gladly give him up, but the sentimental side of me tells me to stop being so ridiculous. But then there's a tiny part of me that feels this guilt that he is not living the life he is meant to live.

And I just suddenly realized why parents act so crazy when it comes to their kids.

Veronica Mars

Veronica Mars is my ultimate tv heroine. She was smart, sassy, snarky and she had a pittie named Backup. If only I was that badass at 17.






Gifs courtesy of http://veronicamarsconfessions.tumblr.com

Oh it's love...

You know it's love when you voluntarily sniff your dog's asshole to see if you need to wipe it.

And now on to the cute video of the day:

On Life and Such

Last month we realized that P has been living in his condo for four years. (FOUR YEARS!!!) Never having lived in the same place for more than two years since leaving home, we both semi lost our shit. And then I started thinking about the people we have seen almost everyday out on our walks and then proceeded to lost the rest of my shit.

There is a couple that lives down the street from us that also has two dogs whom I see on a semi-regular basis. One day I saw her and she was totally preggers. Then some time later, I see a tiny baby strapped to him. And then a few weeks ago, I see this kid WALKING DOWN THE STREET!!

Sometimes I wonder if that's how other people feel when they see us walking down the street. We got the dogs when they were babies and once in a while, a stranger will say "man, is he still growing?" I guess there's nothing like seeing babies grow that makes you think, damn I am old.

Men and their Dogs

At first, I thought it was Tom Brady snuggling with a baby Barksdale and I thought that P, upon seeing it, would completely die and buy every pair of uggs ever made for men. Luckily it's only Tom Hardy aka Bane.

Here's the official caption from where ever I stole this photo from:

NEW YORK, NEW YORK - March 11, 2013. Tom Hardy shows some love for his four-legged co-star as they film 'Animal Rescue' in New York. This Fox Searchlight feature is about a man (Tom Hardy) with criminal past who gets mixed up in a bad heist and a killing resulting from a lost and contested pit bull. Photograph: © PacificCoastNews.com

Apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur, the whole club was looking at her...

I like giving credit where credit is due, especially when I come across great ideas that make me want to say, damn I wish I would've thought about that. Did you know the Buffalo Exchange operates a program called Coats for Cubs?

This is what the website says: Operated in large part by resale fashion retailer Buffalo Exchange, the annual Coats for Cubs fur drive encourages the donation of fur items to aid in the rehabilitation of injured and orphaned animals across the United States. Donated furs are collected and shipped to animal rehabilitation units where they are disassembled and used as bedding to provide a more natural and nurturing environment for injured and orphaned wildlife. Because the furs are disassembled, the condition of the fur contribution is unimportant. However, real furs are preferred by both the rehab facilities and the animals.

Freakin' genus!

Ted

We were watching the movie Ted again tonight and was reminded that there was a scene in the movie that perfectly summed up my relationship.

Parks and Recreation

Oh, Ron Swanson.

Fish Pills

Barksdale used to be the queen of gas. Her farts were made of legend, clearing rooms and forcing car windows open by sheer smelliness.

Then one day, I was talking to my mom about fish pills. She had starting taking them as supplements and I told her that we gave Barksdale fish pills as well. She then proceeded to say, well yeah, they're good for you and all but I think I might stop taking them as they give me horrible gas.

As my mind connected her gas to Barksdale's gas, I immediately texted Phil declaring our house a fish pill free place. During our recent vet visit to the vet, she asked about Barksdale's slight dandruff. I had to be like, oh honey, it is so much better since we switched her food to grain free California Natural.

She suggested fish pills as a supplement and I quickly shut that down and told her about the gas issues. She then said...oh yeah, that sometimes happens with fish pills.

Me: !*)*()@$*#($#*()

So I guess the lesson of the story is, a dog having gas is not a normal "dog" thing.